Thaw

stealthy strands of sun reflect
on relentless icy drifts

whispered breaths of warmth reveal
impossible bits of green

a respite, however brief
not nearly spring, but rising

Reading, Writing and Ranting

I just read a printed version of a Power Point presentation that was given to the execs at my place of employment. The presentation summarized customer research gathered by a consulting firm. I'm not privy to the budget, but based on the number of surveys, interviews and focus groups, it's safe to say this firm was paid a gazillion dollars.

What aggravates me is the number of typos, mistakes and poorly-written phrases I found throughout the document. For example, on page 3, they used the word "our" instead of "are." Proof positive that Spell Check cannot fix everything.

What further aggravates me is the fear that not one of our execs even noticed the mistakes or raised the issue with the offending firm.

I know I'm the world's oldest living copywriter, but am I the only person (besides other copywriters) who still cares about correct spelling and clear, concise work? Is content the entire issue, and grammar merely nitpicking?

You probably lost interest three paragraphs ago, but here is one of the questions the consulting firm posed regarding our customer: "What does she wish that we carried?"

It's not an especially good question to start with, but "that" screws it up entirely. It's sloppy. It shouldn't be part of a gazillion-dollar project. It should cause executives to wince and doubt the credibility of the firm they hired.

But it don't.

Snow Blight

Damn this snow
It was pretty
For a second
About two weeks ago
But its unrelenting
Piling on has
Brought me to my knees
To freeze
Oh please stop this
God damned snow

New Year's Resolutions

Number 1 - I will eat healthy, natural foods. I'll avoid processed foods. If my grandmother didn't eat it, I won't either. Thank God Grandma liked brownies. And Twinkies.

Number 2 - I will exercise more. This will not be hard to do. If I exercise at all, that's more.

I will also get rid of stuff. I have too much stuff. George Carlin understood this. I'd buy one of his old comedy albums but that would only give me more stuff.

I will clean out files and organize paperwork. Something tells me that keeping papers in plastic grocery bags in my closets is not the most efficient method. Do I really need my Mom's electric bills from 2001? No. What I do need is a shredder.

I'll buy a shredder. A big one. Oh sure, it's more stuff, but it will help me get rid of stuff.

I will fix my front step, replace my basement windows, paint the bathroom, pull out those two dead shrubs and clean the awnings.

I will play the lottery more, so maybe I can win enough money to pay someone to fix my front step, replace my basement windows, paint the bathroom, pull out those two dead shrubs and clean the awnings.

I will spend less time playing Scrabble against computer robots and more time playing cards and games with real people. And not computer strangers either. Real people, like my friends. I have friends, you know.

I will try to make some friends.

I will try to be more productive and less lazy. I will try to be more proactive and less complacent. I will try to get out, have fun, be kind, take care of myself and take care of you if you need it. I will try to make 2010 amount to something.

I'm not optimistic, but I'll try.

New Year Musings (or God, I'm Old)

Seems like Y2K
was yesterday
but then I think again
and knit my brow
and wonder how
it’s almost 20-10

Ten years have passed -
they went so fast -
I know I seem perplexed
But this is it,
the year I quit
writing 19 on my checks

Ode to Book Group

I love my book group, every one
They make Christmas so much fun
With thoughtful gifts
And caring hearts
The season gets a festive start

In fact, each season of the year
Is met each month with book group cheer
And even though
I’m getting sappy
Book group always makes me happy

(Don’t think that we’re all sweet and nice
We’re short on sugar, long on spice
If trouble ever
Comes to pass
My book group girls will kick your ass)

Voila!

At work, as the copywriter, I am usually the go-to person for spelling and grammar questions.

So today, a man calls across the cubicles to me, "Hey Jean - how do you spell 'voila'?" He pronounces it wah-lah, without any hint of the V.

I answer V - O - I - L - A.

"Really?" he asks.

"Yes," I say.

"With a V?" he asks.

"Yes," I say.

Not 60 seconds go by and I hear him talking quietly - to whom I'm not
sure - and he says "Oh, I'm trying to figure out how to spell voila."

Clearly my credibility isn't what it should be.