New Year's Resolutions

Number 1 - I will eat healthy, natural foods. I'll avoid processed foods. If my grandmother didn't eat it, I won't either. Thank God Grandma liked brownies. And Twinkies.

Number 2 - I will exercise more. This will not be hard to do. If I exercise at all, that's more.

I will also get rid of stuff. I have too much stuff. George Carlin understood this. I'd buy one of his old comedy albums but that would only give me more stuff.

I will clean out files and organize paperwork. Something tells me that keeping papers in plastic grocery bags in my closets is not the most efficient method. Do I really need my Mom's electric bills from 2001? No. What I do need is a shredder.

I'll buy a shredder. A big one. Oh sure, it's more stuff, but it will help me get rid of stuff.

I will fix my front step, replace my basement windows, paint the bathroom, pull out those two dead shrubs and clean the awnings.

I will play the lottery more, so maybe I can win enough money to pay someone to fix my front step, replace my basement windows, paint the bathroom, pull out those two dead shrubs and clean the awnings.

I will spend less time playing Scrabble against computer robots and more time playing cards and games with real people. And not computer strangers either. Real people, like my friends. I have friends, you know.

I will try to make some friends.

I will try to be more productive and less lazy. I will try to be more proactive and less complacent. I will try to get out, have fun, be kind, take care of myself and take care of you if you need it. I will try to make 2010 amount to something.

I'm not optimistic, but I'll try.