Flimpsy Bra

In January, I published an email my employer received from an upset customer about a sweater. At the time, I didn't realize it was the first of a series.

Following is a real, unedited email we received about a bra. I only deleted our company name and the contact information so I can keep my job.

To M, it's author, the only thing I can say is just be thankful your bra didn't get all link ball.

"I hav been a faithful shopper of (company) in bra and jeans but very faithful n my bra only buy them here for the last15yrs hav started my daughter,however for the last yr and last week just purchase a bra always buy (company)i notice the quality of my bra is not good at all i pay good money for these bras from 38-42.00 for my bras every trip sometimes 2 or 3 at a time on sat bought a(company)went for a black didnt hav one but need a bra so i boihht abrown one1st disapointment, 2days later it slidind and flimpsy, very disatified, didnt want to take bac cause i wore it, butpls do sumtin my daughyer and friend has already tried somewher elsei feel bad after i bragged on these underwire bras, wat to do now, i stuck wit a bra that not workin time after time i feel like i invested in a bad deal for the last yr and last week, my contact if u even care is(deleted)well thanks anyway....m"

Happy Birthday Joey

30 years ago today my son Joey was born. 30 years. I know, I was quite young to have a child. Nevertheless, I've found myself thinking about those early days with my first born, and one of my favorite stories ever.

My labor started on St. Patrick's Day. When it had progressed enough to head to the hospital, Joe (Joey’s dad) and I called to tell our parents. When Joe pulled the car into the circular drive of OSU Hospital to drop me off, we saw his parents waiting inside. They had beaten us there.

As it turned out, there wasn’t any hurry. I was in labor a long time. Joe and I, his parents and my parents ended up spending the night in the hospital, waiting for Joey. Joe and I walked the halls. The Gioffres and the Kolks played euchre in the waiting room. Everyone was tired and punchy.

Finally I was scheduled for a c-section and Joey was born. Joe went to the waiting room to tell our parents. This was back in the day before detailed untrasounds so Joe got to make the big announcement:
“It’s a boy…and he has the biggest balls I’ve ever seen.”

Always an interesting guy, that Joe.

But my mom fired right back: “Oh, he must take after the Kolks.”
She was a funny, funny woman.

That was March 18, 1981. The day we all met the sweet baby boy who was and is one of the best things that ever happened to me. Happy birthday, Joey!

On the Birthday of Dr. Suess

I’ve loved Dr. Suess
from the very first time
I heard read aloud
his merry-ful rhymes
of the cat in the hat
and Bartholomew too
of oobleck and Yertle
and fish red and blue.

I’ve loved Dr. Suess
and I’ll sing out his praises
for Horton and Grinch
and the fun that he raises.
If I ran the circus
or I ran the zoo
I couldn’t do better
than Suess, could you?

I’ve loved Dr. Suess
I’ve loved him a lot
and some of his books
were the first that I got,
like Fox In Sox and
Hop on Pop,
I read and I read and
I never have stopped.

(I meant what I said and I said what I meant,
I’m Dr. Suess faithful one hundred percent)