English as a Second Language

A few funny (and disturbing) abuses of the English language -  

Directions on an online solitaire game:

"This game is not as scary as it sound it is quite the contrary! Spider Solitaire is an amazingly fun game. This is the spider solitaire game in one suit."

(These directions were not well written, it is quite the contrary!)


From Facebook:

"The older alum has been asking about The Memorial monument in front of the old high school honoring servicemen. Well here is what Marilyn M class of 67 has wrote in a message to Tom P class of 60"

(Jean G class of 73 has wrote off this entire post)


And, my old favorites, online customer comments from my place of employment:

"I have worn these paints six times. I have had to sew these paints twice at the seams. This is the second pair of tall paints I purchased lately that I have had to saw. Please keep the quality of the clothing well."

(She's wearing paints? Must be a Comfest-er)


"Cause I had purchase something in the store it would be ship to the store n I paid the next day ship n it don't come in 4 days later I was every upset cause I needed that for a weeding"

(Apparently she's every picky about what she wears in the garden)


"the bras givd goo soupoty "

(Say what?)


"i did buy a Bra but next day i ahve to change for a diferent size i went to the store with my recsive but the employee the day before did not put code correct tehy dont eant to exchange my bra the manager of the store treat me like i was a liar, i was stiling from the store, she did not even apologize, i have to argue with her for over one hrs to get my bra change, the other one bother me."

(I, too, hate it when I get treated like I was stiling, especially when it lasts over one hours)